It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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