Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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