Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
