You're completely useless in the revolution.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
