please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
