Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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