It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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