i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
