uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
