I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize