Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
