Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
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I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
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In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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