Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
