I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
