Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want to make out with him forever
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
