these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
