Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
