Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
