Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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