So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I am naked and annoyed.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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