How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
