you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
