that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
