rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
