Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
