ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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