So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
