this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
