He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
