i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
