my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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