Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
