I think i peed on brittanys purse
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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