I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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