Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
