she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
