I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
