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She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
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