I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
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