To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
