jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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