Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
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i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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