I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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