I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
