Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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