Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
