Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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