i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Liz is crying about burritos again.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.