I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.