I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
