Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
