it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
