apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
