cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
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