Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
