Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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