Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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