Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
