the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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