whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
