why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
