Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW IβM MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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