Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
vagina is talking i cant
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
